Are all questions with hidden assumptions unfair?

Actually, most questions have built-in assumptions. Does that make them all unfair?

Example 1: "What time is it?" assumes time exists and you have a way to know it. Not unfair!

Example 2: "How was school today?" assumes you went to school. Fine if you did!

When assumptions match reality, questions aren't unfair - they're just efficient.

Example 1: Asking "How did you like the movie?" after you just watched it together - the assumption (you saw it) is true.

Example 2: Asking "What do you want for dinner?" assumes you'll eat dinner - usually a safe assumption!

Some assumptions are based on shared knowledge and aren't traps at all.

Example 1: "Which of your siblings do you like best?" is only a trap if you have no siblings. Otherwise it's a normal question.

Example 2: "How do you like your new bike?" assumes you got a bike - fine if you just received one!

Questions are unfair when the hidden assumption is FALSE or contested - not when there's any assumption at all.

Example 1: Unfair: "Why do you hate vegetables?" (assumes you hate them). Fair: "Do you like vegetables?" (no loaded assumption).

Example 2: The key: Is the assumption true and uncontroversial? If yes, the question is fine.

Hidden assumptions ARE unfair when they force you to accept something that isn't true or proven.

Example 1: "Have you stopped being mean?" traps you - both yes and no admit you were mean!

Example 2: "Why are you so annoying?" assumes you ARE annoying - unfair if you're not!

Hidden assumptions are FINE when they're true and both people know it.

Example 1: "How was your birthday party?" after you just had one - the assumption is true.

Example 2: "What grade did you get?" after a test - assumes you took it, which is true.

Is the questioner trying to trap you, or just communicating efficiently?

Example 1: Trap: A lawyer asking "Where did you hide the evidence?" before proving you hid any.

Example 2: Not a trap: Friend asking "What did you think of the ending?" about a book you both read.

You can always reject a question's premise instead of answering yes or no.

Example 1: "Have you stopped being mean?" → "I don't accept that I was ever mean."

Example 2: "Why are you so annoying?" → "I reject the assumption that I'm annoying."

Some questions are specifically designed to trap you. Aren't those unfair?

Example 1: "Have you stopped cheating on tests?" - if you never cheated, both yes and no are wrong!

Example 2: "When did you start lying to your parents?" assumes you lie to them.

When a question forces you to accept a false assumption, isn't that problematic?

Example 1: "Why do you always mess things up?" assumes you always mess up - not fair if you usually don't!

Example 2: Accepting the premise of a loaded question can make you look guilty of something you didn't do.

Not all assumptions are traps. Many are just normal communication shortcuts.

Example 1: "What would you like to drink?" assumes you want a drink - usually a polite and true assumption.

Example 2: "How's your mom?" assumes you have a mom and she's alive - usually fair in normal conversation.

Whether a hidden assumption is fair depends on whether it's TRUE.

Example 1: True assumption + question = fine. "How did you like the pizza?" (after eating pizza).

Example 2: False assumption + question = unfair. "Why do you hate your brother?" when you actually love him.